Maternal Instincts
by Dragon's Clan
Summary: Ever wonder what happens if Subaru and Kamui were the adopted sons of Gotei 13 Captain Four, Unohana Retsu? GO MOMS! Post Gotei 13 Invading Army Arc. Hints of Spoilers to 'Zanpakutō Unknown Tales Arc', 'Gotei 13 Invading Army Arc', Shinigami Cup.


_**Maternal Instincts**_

Rating: T

Characters/Pairings: Retsu Unohana, Kotetsu Isane, Sumeragi Hokuto and pairings of Seishirou/Subaru and Fuuma/Kamui. Along with mentions of other characters.

Genre: Family/Humor

Summary: Ever wonder what happens if Subaru and Kamui were the adopted sons of Gotei 13 Captain Four, Unohana Retsu? GO MOMS! Post Gotei 13 Invading Army Arc. Hints of Spoilers to 'Zanpakutō Unknown Tales Arc', 'Gotei 13 Invading Army Arc', and some of Shinigami Illustrated Cup. A one shot of Bleach x X/1999 crossover.

Disclaimer: BLEACH belongs to Tite Kubo and X/1999 belongs to CLAMP.

Note: Recommended for those who wanted to know how scary Unohana Retsu is or how she is being feared by her own squad and even by her own fellow captains, even the Eleventh division are afraid of her. Here is some of Shinigami Illustrated Cup that I have the pleasure of watching.

Shinigami Illustrated Cup 63

Shinigami Illustrated Cup 114

Shinigami Illustrated Cup 238

Shinigami Illustrated Cup 324

Shinigami Illustrated Cup 293

Shinigami Illustrated Cup 324

Shinigami Illustrated Cup 331

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><p>It couldn't be helped, really, it couldn't. When Unohana Retsu found out that her sons are dating, she asked Subaru and Kamui nicely if she could speak to the said people that are dating their sons. Knowing better than to question their mother, for one, she is scary when someone doesn't follow her orders. One cold smile on her face promises that if the person doesn't obey, they'll regret it sooner or later. Which lands both Subaru's and Kamui's respective boyfriends in the same room with them, including their mother being there as well. The two sons of Unohana told their respective boyfriends to behave around their mother, one would never know what would happen if they made the wrong move. Hokuto had tagged along and decided to watch the scene for enjoyment purposes. Unohana is sitting on the green couch, while sitting across from her on an identical looking couch, are the two semes of our two favorite ukes, Seishirō and Fūma.<p>

"It's good to know that my sons are in the hands of these _fine_ gentlemen, doesn't Isane?" Oh yeah, their mother's vice captain is also there. The short silver head quickly nods at seeing that grin on her captain's face when she turns attention to the vice captain before her attention back to the two boys in front of her. Kotetsu Isane, being one of those people that seen those grins directed to them by Unohana herself, had quickly learned to never, _ever_, disobey or disagree with her captain. Needless to say, one quickly learns about when seeing that grin directed to them, it's unnerving, disturbing, scary, it even makes Zaraki wants to run for his life if he ever does get on her bad side, _now_ that's saying something. Seishirō and Fūma grins back at Subaru's and Kamui's mother. Nothing good can be said from this.

"We're just _glad_ that Subaru-kun and Kamui-kun are being well taken care of by a good and caring mother." Seishirō said with a grin while Fūma nods with a smile. One could say the atmosphere in the room is very stiff, but that pressure itself came from mostly Unohana and not from our two favorite semes.

"Then let me ask you this, how _well_ are you treating my sons?" Unohana ask with a grin, Isane notices _that_ grin, winced and shuffles Subaru, Kamui, and Hokuto out of the room and into the hallway hurriedly. Closing the door behind her with a relief sigh, she remembers the three kids looking at her in confuse. Giving them a hasty smile, she began her explanation.

"Remember that incident in which our zanpakutō's spirit materialized and went temporarily AWOL your mother told you about?" Kamui and Subaru nodded slowly, they remembered that incident very well. Having your own zanpakutō's spirit materialized and temporarily went somewhat AWOL wasn't a really good thing, it almost feels like the Promise Day incident all over again, and _that_ was bad enough. Hokuto, who remembers this incident very clearly, nods as well. She was there when it happen, and let's just say, she's rather glad that the zanpakutō's materialized spirit went back into swords.

"Well we lent our barracks to our other Gotei 13 division since some of theirs were destroyed during the chaos. Unfortunately some of those people got lost here, and one of the Gotei 13 Captains unfortunately went to Unohana-Tachio's bedroom. No one knows the details, but he was pretty much beaten up bad by then. I met with Unohana-Taicho later and she was wearing that same _grin_ when she asked that _question_ to your boyfriends." Isane whispered. Kamui and Subaru look at each other before looking at the door behind Isane. They didn't have the heart to hunt down the Captain who had accidentally went into their mother's bedroom, both of them got the idea its best to not know what she had done to that said man. Hokuto blinks before grinning, this could work as payback for Sei-chan killing her and making Subaru and Kakyou feel all sad, depressed, and angst about it. The ukes in this case, Subaru and Kamui feels guilty for their respective semes, well Subaru feels guiltier than Kamui. Kamui, though he wouldn't admit out loud knowing he'll get scolded by Subaru later on, believed that their semes sort of deserve it for what they've done to both him and Subaru.

"Isane, Subaru-kun, Kamui-kun, Hokuto-chan, you can come in now." All of them winced at heard the serene voice of Unohana Retsu, which usually means: 1) Everything is ok now, 2) Please understand that I'm doing this on your best interest, or 3) Please, don't take me lightly or you'll regret it. Isane, being closes to the door, opens it to see Unohana still there, in the same position, still smiling. The smile is toned down a bit, meaning that whatever had Unohana done to the two semes, she had the distinctive sadistic pleasure in achieving it. Isane hesitantly looks at her captain's sons' boyfriends and winced, they don't look so good.

"Could you please tell Subaru-kun and Kamui-kun that their dates for tonight have been canceled? I'm afraid I've overdone it a bit."Her captain asks her with that serene smile of hers. Isane knew better than to help those two get out of the room.

"H-hai!"The vice-president stuttered out, before closing the door rather hastily. Isane turned towards the group behind her and gives them a hesitant and nervous smile.

"Unohana-taichou said that Sakurazuka-san and Monou-san are currently incapacitated, and unfortunately will have to cancels your arrange appointments for the day." Isane gives them a hesitate laugh, it's best if the ukes and Hokuto-chan don't know about what happen to Seishirō and Fūma or what went on beyond that door. Isane, herself, has fair shares of being one of the unlucky ones that has _that_ smile directed to her by her captain herself, and that was only on rare occasions. Like that reigai incident, in which she was told by her reigai self that having _two_ Unohana Retsus giving you _that_ smile, will make you _wish_ you weren't there when it happen, that you will wish it was _just_ a nightmare and that it was worse than having one Unohana Retsu. Isane shudders at the thought before shuffling Subaru, Kamui, and Hokuto away, far away from _that_ door. It really is probably the best that they shouldn't see or hear about what happen that put the ukes' semes in _that_ condition from whatever her captain did to them with _that_ smile of hers. That was something, Isane is pretty sure of, that _no one_ _ever_ wants to see.

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><p>Extra Note: This is what happens when you begin to write a one-shot somewhere around 11 late at night to 4:30 in the morning, your brain starts giving sprouting ideas you don't want to know about. XD<p>

Extra-Extra Note: Nothing is more scarier than seeing a pissed of Unohana Retsu, I mean seeing how skillful and how intelligent she is in battle against her reigai self, it makes me wonder that we are actually lucky not to see when she is _really, really_ angry, and that itself is a _very, very _scary thought.

Extra-Extra-Extra Note: Rest In Peace, Ichimaru Gin-sama, we'll miss you so much. :D

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><p>Read and Review! :)<p> 


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